I can post these now that (almost) everyone has received theirs. Originally, I was only going to make a few and send store-bought ones... but ended up making all of them. And some envelopes too, since I ran out. I can't measure or glue properly, but I can cut straight! Hopefully not many of them got smushed or fell apart too badly.





[x] 006. handmade cards

007/101 completed

Also, thanks deadmantalks, maidenus, and ferrell for your cards!

Thanks dawna, androshd, amoristique, enigma_lab, and danceinacircle!

I also got a card from scaryjeff, but it wont fit on my desk. It's huge and has duct tape & penguins <3

We were looking at Edible Arrangements the other day, which led to my brilliant idea of making my own fruit bouquet as my Christmas contribution (since I didn't have any presents). It looked easy enough; I could de-construct how it was done from looking at the catalog pictures. I also have experience with floral arrangements, and I'm naturally creative – so how hard can it be? My first one will come out awesome.

( gather supplies ) ( cut to shape ) ( assemble onto skewers ) ( insert into 'vase', and... )


Start to finish was about 3 hours, and most of that was the cantaloupe. I am quite happy with the results. ( and so was everyone else :D ) Another merry Christmas this year.

Stress, guilt, running around fighting through throes of people – remind me again why this is supposed to be a happy lovely fun time? And oh yeah, I'm also getting sick the day before Christmas (Eve, which is Christmas with J's family).

( The Originals )
( The Photoshops )
( The Photoshopped )
( The 7 Things )
( The People )
( Some Trivia )
( And a Poll )

Ok, v-gifting time. Thanks for playing! :)

Let's play a game.

(click to enlarge)

There are 7 things here that are different from the original photo. Correctly identify at least 4 and I'll send you a v-gift. The border decorations do not count (that means the lights, tree, text, and pants scrap in Frank's mouth).

Bonus points for getting names correct. Here is a numbered version for referencing.

3 months of paid time to the first person to get all 7.

Answers will be revealed in a new post tomorrow, and comments will be unscreened then.

(v-gifts will be sent out when I get home tonight, or tomorrow.)

I decided that I am going to do holiday cards this year, because it's been a while. They're going to be handmade and personalized, like the ones I did in 2002.



I've been trying to fill out all the address for cards posts on my friends list, but I think I missed a few. If so, here is my address. You can also send it to the office, since afaik, I'm not going anywhere (far) for the holidays.

And I'm as unenthusiastic about it as ever, but this year, I don't have to fake the spirit and the smiles, or tell lies to my family or his about how well we're doing and how great life is, etc.

I know it sounds horrible and bah. humbug, but really, it's great. No forced thankyous for obviously thoughtless presents, no spending hours trapped where I don't want to be, with people I don't want to be with. I wrote a long post going into detail about this, but it's tl;dr, really ranty and just me letting it out, not something I want to keep/post. So I'll just leave it at this.

Really, it's great. It's just the two of us, drama-free, family-free, fake-free. After wanting the traditional Christmas for so long, and even after having it, this is what I wanted (&needed) this year.

We're currently downstairs at Kevin's. He's cooking a Christmas dinner. If you're bored and/or hungry, and in the area, come and join us!

ETA: to clear up any possible misconceptions, I don't hate Christmas, and I'm not totally lacking of Christmas spirit. Only when it's a family-related thing.

Artichokes steamed perfectly for dinner, a nice, relaxing bath together in a large clawfoot tub... The day started out rocky, plans changed and things delayed, but it all fell into place and the night couldn't be better.

We're at his parents' dog-sitting, because we're not allowed dogs in the apartment, even when we explained to the building manager that it would be very temporary, and told her how quiet April is. We're staying the night, and tomorrow, until Christmas day. Poor April, with her sad, sad puppy eyes. She looks older than I remember her being. Maybe it's like with people, how one can appear more aged when lonely.

So we're just hanging here for a few days, watching movies, and spending Christmas alone, just the two of us and the dog. Our quiet, holiday together, free of family-drama.

I got home early to a very excited boyfriend who had been waiting for me. I showed him my Christmas goodies, and then we did our part for world peace, thanks to burr86 for posting the reminder.. not that it wouldn't have happened anyway ;)

We went on a little adventure, even though I really didn't want to get back on public transportation again while everyone was getting out for the holiday weekend. But it really wasn't that bad, and I was glad that we had gone. On the way back, I made a little yellow-gold paper crane using a corner of the BART notices flyer, and left it sitting in the pointed center on top of the trash can by the bus stop.

J came home with me, for dinner with my family. And it was a nice little dinner, a lot better than I had imagined it would be. Not a bad start at all to our first Christmas alone.

take my heart; it's so warm, i'll melt.

I forgot how fun this is, I forgot the concept even existed. Childhood feels like such a long time ago now, a lot longer than it should feel for someone whose largest slice in the lifetime pie chart is still childhood (when measured in years/total years lived).

I used to cut so many of these and tape them up, because where I live(d), there was no chance of seeing real snowflakes out my window. Maybe I'll cut some real ones later, but for now, here's the digital one I made, thanks to Popular Front: SnowDays.

They're increasing the amount they're donating to the Salvation Army based on the number of snowflakes created, so go make one or a few. It's for a good cause, and it's fun! The site is awesome too. You can "catch" the falling ones with your mouse and see what other people have created, and leave replies to their messages.

I'm going to make more tonight, delicate and pretty cut-out snowflakes. But for now, I have work I need to get back to and finish.

This is an overused stock photo, but I redecorated it.
Because *you* are the best gift ever.



We're leaving for Reno, and I'll experience snow for the first time! Back on Thursday.

it doesn't make up for what i tore apart last week, but it's more meaningful (&beautiful, in a sense). he's done so much for me and i hate when he says that he doesn't deserve me. i gave him his gift yesterday after he was done opening presents with his family.

xmas this year:

j and erik thought it was still thursday and i didn't know christmas dinner was at 4. it was hectic rushrushrush. we hopped in the shower, dropped erik off at bart, and got to his grandparent's not too late. but he was sick and nauseous the entire time while i sat and ate dinner with his family, and he was laying down in the guestroom while i opened presents with everyone else. his aunt sue got me a microwavable bunny-shaped eye pillow and his grandma got me a makeup/purse set. i thought that was really sweet of them.

christmas morning he was still feeling sick, and we opened more presents at home. his parents gave me a three tiered box of chocolates that was yum. mike and his family came over and we made pizzas and i had my first rice pudding. and soon after, tim joins in on the fun.

it's the day after christmas and we're in search of someplace to eat but everything we wanted was closed so we settled for our favorite mexican, juanitas. i noticed something i had never noticed on the menu before; they won't sell you alcohol if you're under 18, eighteen, not 21. i will have to see if they check id next time.

also, we proved again why we should not eat somewhere nice. tim and i took shots of artificial sweeteners. and when we were done with our meal, we left a 20 sack of sweet 'n low with the bill.

coarsegold 12.27-12.31
snowcapped mountain tops in distant view (& i wanted it to snow so bad). logs and wrapping paper burning in a blazing fireplace. it was a second christmas with j's family at his mom's (i got more gifts from her than from my own family). kids and babies and kids with babies. lots and lots of junk food, chocolates and double stuffed oreos, dryer's homemade vanilla ice cream and brownie bites. but somehow i managed to lose two pounds instead of gaining ten, so yay. it was a nice and amusing five days in the middle of nowhere, isolated away from everyone, and i heart the overly hyperactive kitty.

davis 12.31-01.02
new people and old people, people i haven't seen in a long time and it was just that yay happy feeling of being around people that i haven't felt in a long while. drinks and jello shots and smoochies; charlene kept telling me and j to kiss because we were too cute (but jackie had me first at midnight).

san jose 01.02-01.03
i am at a lan party. a lan party. and i'm not bored. omfg?

shimmering in and out of the most incredible dream in a blur of multi-colored lights. because my family doesn't really do christmas, with a tree and ornaments, pretty wrapping paper and fancy ribbon, this was especially nice.

i know in the end, all i have is myself. and all i have to blame for any and everything i get upset over is myself.

it looks like i won't be moving out. nobody seems to be returning calls or emails, and the few that answer are either too old, have kids, or live too far from campus.

i used to like the holidays, i used to be happy and excited over it, over what i'm getting people and what they're getting me. now i just feel bitter and resentful towards people. all people. they're all against me. why do you hate me?

no more vodka. no more alcohol. ever. just no.

candy too.

five hours at stoneridge with robyn and mike. jewelry, clothes, brookstone massage chairs, starbucks.


trying on girly dressy dresses because they're pretty and all i really wear are jeans and tank tops and sweatshirts.


mike was going to get me a punching bag for xmas, but i don't have the space for it so he got me a leather jacket instead. <3

thanksgiving is a time for remembering and appreciating what you have. then it's christmas with its greediness and want want want.

the last time i looked around afterthoughts, they had little gift books with tear out coupons good for hugs and shopping trips, a shoulder to cry on, and the like. that's the best kind of gift, but not store bought, homemade and personalized for the receiver. homemade coupons in a homemade envelope with a cellophane wrapped basket of homebaked cookies. chocolate chip. (but i'm back on my no cookie kick)

it's all colors and wrapping paper, silver and gold metallic shine and fancy velvet ribbon bows. but material things have no meaning to me and my relatives reuse their wrapping paper. they give me presents because they feel obligated to, presents with no thought put into them, not to mention white elephant. used presents their kids have received years before. and it's not like i don't know it either. i'd rather have nothing, and i've told them so. so why the fuck am i year after year still getting them?

it's the thought that counts. the nicest thing i remember doing for christmas was when i surprised a near stranger with a complete critique of his six chapter novel in progress (he had been wanting critique and no one was giving any). for everyone who's been asking me what i want, i want to see people happy. and i want you. do something for me, do something with me. surprise me with something from your heart, not your wallet.

p.s. i like long letters. and i like being surprised.

and.
( santa will bring me pimp elmo )